It's like there's nothing good whenever i update my blog here.
For those of you who don't know, i went for my violin exam during lunch time.
most unprepared violin exam i'd say. as you people know, im in med school, so basically is freaking hard for me to squeeze my time out for violin practice. i have to rush home for violin practice and classes. and of because of these reasons, a conclusion of the exam will be, say goodbye to the my beloved friend - distinction.
no more perfect mark in aural (very unprepared), the examiner, first of all, to me, she's trying so hard to help me, and i'd happily say perhaps im the only one who she dont need to repeat her sentence over and over again like those previous candidates who were small lil kids. I can see that she's trying very hard to smile, she's trying very hard to give me a friendly impression so that i wont be nervous. but nahhhh, her first impression freaked me out. she came out with some freaking serious face (as you know, all old people have face problem because they dont have such firm skin as we do, theirs are all sagging. especially when they dont smile, it looked fking strict)
TOO BAD. i dont have that kind of control. i mean, we all have nerves during exam (more or less, at least a bit)
the thing was, i was so sleepy. i somehow feel sleepy whenever im nervous. or i even feel like puking or shit. lol.
well, at least one thing i did very good was ignoring the mistakes i made. at least i dint went more nervous once i made mistake. i was like f*ck this shit and continued. out of 3 freaking songs. i was lost in the middle of 2 songs. *facepalm* guess i was too sleepy. scales, i totally forgot how i did frankly speaking. not to say very good, as usual, intonation here and there. @.@ 3rds was worst i'd say. choked like mad at the high parts. gawsh.
pieces, 1st piece started not bad, nicely i'd say. and thennnnnnnn, when it went high and descend, MY GOODNESS, HORRIBLE, i was lost. how on the earth is that possible???? but nevermind, it ended not bad. then 2nd song, starting ornaments wasnt obvious, kinda missed it. -.- nevermind, then when we proceeded to the important part, fking choked, and same place at the recap, I CHOKED AGN! HOW CAN I CHOKE FOR TWO FREAKING TIMES? -_____- that wasnt the worst part, when we ended, she told my accompanist 'can you please dont play too loud till you drown the violinist? afterall it's her exam' im like WTFFFFFFF
i was quite stressed since then, expressions for the 3rd songs were kinda flat then. and i was lost again in this piece -.- seriously? lost for 2 times??? but AT LEAST, it ended okay to me. not to say very good. but it was just okay.
urgh. and there comes sight reading, as usual, i dont know what was i playing. (the same thing happened every year for my violin exam) but this is grd 8, hoping she's good enough to pass my sight reading. *finger crossed*
aural, i dont know what was happening, was just babbling abt the dynamics, when she asked for texture i was like 'f*ck idk how to describe' and was acting cute as if im thinking but nothing comes into my mind when the answers were so easy. -.- *screams*
and there goes my distinction. far far away from me.
hope she'll at least pass me. i'll be very very thankful even if i get merit. *pray hard*