目前日期文章:201301 (2)

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I was scrolling down facebook, a newsfeed of yours popped up on my timeline, so i went to your page to have a look, to get myself updated. As I was scrolling down, memory stirs. Whatever happened gushed out like a waterfall. 

this was many years ago and this, made me who i am today.

You're once my best friend. I knew you were complicated with your huge social cirlces, knowing tonnes and tonnes of people i don't know, also, your ability to use the exact thing happened and turn the story up side down. People been telling me you're dangerous, even my parents. But I took those words too lightly. You showed your 'loyalty' in front of me by stabbing others' back. Same thing happens when you're with others. Perhaps I wasn't even a friend of yours, a toy instead, to entertain you. 

The reason you got close to me was because I was perhaps approachable to you when we were in the same class. Which was when you had a terrible quarrel with your princess. (For those of you who don't get who was I talking about all these time, a 'she', is the only thing i could tell you here) Basically, I was only her substitute, a best-friend-substitute. And so happen that you and her, were no longer in the same class like how both of you were back in the previous years of secondary school. I was indeed happy thinking I've finally got a best friend in this school. 

You're a ... demanding kind of person I'd say? The reason are you don't like people messing around with your most updated electronic device aka toys because u think people like me will break it. You've always got the newest electronice devices like, those times when gameboys were still on the heat, then the PSP, then Wii (in your home of course), expensive electric guitar, pricely guitar picks, HUGE-awesome-laser-printer, etc. You were so into your academic marks till you asked your parents' factory worker to make an awesome looking craft for our KH project. Nothing bad are allowed for you, nothing taste bad will enter your mouth, nothing cheap enters your mouth. That's who you are.

Everything you said must be right. We were all childish back then. We encounter things like these everyday in school. I was partly in the blame. There was a certain period where I was so self centered and as you know, when both self centered person meets, well, bet you know what'll happen. 

and until a time where she finally got back with her princess, *snaps* I was kicked away just like that. not exaggarating, whole of the 3 classes, was against me literally. It was the toughest time of my life, no one talks to me, people ignores me, all kind of facial expression I've been through. It was hell. and all that happened just because of your words. 

the fact that u ditched my and go against me once you get your princess back broke my heart. entirely. 
I was just being frank to you, I was direct to you because you were my best friend and I really thought u could handle it. It seems I overestimated you. 

and now, it's been so many years, I still couldn't let it go. It ain't the grudge in me, it's just that you taught me how dangerous people can be, how fast people can change. one minute you buddy, next sec u're their enemy. Now u're one of them who ask us out for some gatherings. I went once, and I feel uncomfortable talking with you. Your self -centeredness hasn't go away and that make us remain in only surface talk and I'm sorry that I couldn't open up to you anymore for what had happened. 

 


m213 發表在 痞客邦 PIXNET 留言(0) 人氣()

  • Jan 13 Sun 2013 01:11
  • life

it's been a long time since i had a hard crush on someone. its hard for me. 

it's been some time since i had ups and downs over a person. it's hard. It takes time for me to develope these feelings over someone. 

but for a certain time, i miss those feelings somehow. Is it me or others' problem? It's as if every single one in the world have someone that make them feel that way. 

I miss those tachycardic moments when i see someone. I miss those crazy excitement looking forward to see someone, and those desperate moments wanting to be with them. my life has been kinda dull too peaceful since the year starts. not sure if it's a good thing. but i'll treasure these moments before those storms come. 

sometimes i wonder, what would my life be 10 years from now. i can't foresee a single thing other than im 30 exactly 10 years from now. 


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