♪♫ ~*Mi¢hεl£ε•τoo~*♪♫

whenever i feel that im almost there,

things will some how happen making me feel that im not even close to my aim(s).

such a complicated feeling. should i be happy or sad about it?

happy because i realised my weakness/mistakes so that i can improve. 

sad because putting sooo much effort and yet im still far away from it. WHY?????

and this is not as easy as u think.

i ALWAYS come across this. especially for those subject which do not even have a text book for me to study. because im... very shaky. im those type of people that always change. constantly changing???? depending on my surroundings??????

most of the time, i get fed up easily and.. simply finnish my work.... because... my expectations are too high? Having such perfectionist aims without techniques to achieve it. I've got so many more things to learn. Or i should say that im lazy to put in much more effort??? because i know that im not only what i am now. im more than that. im better than that. im just lazy...???

damn. i need to be continuously motivated. and... learn to be patient.

i have my own thought in my head. as i said, im very shaky, and impatient. so i tend to change things. Things i feel okay/good previously, sometimes, i'll feel disgusted in the next moment. and being consistant is hard. im not that disciplined and... faithful xD lol.

i just want everything of mine to be the best.

but i never did it.