♪♫ ~*Mi¢hεl£ε•τoo~*♪♫

There's so many times, i came to this page, trying to type out something in my mind. Sadly what happened was, i've got nothing in my mind to type here, to 'speak up' type out my thoughts. or i shall say, 3 weeks break (not-really-a-break break) made me lazy.
 
My mind somehow stop working like how it does. 
Is med school the reason of why my mind is so tired, OR it just got rusty? 

Problem occurs when people start to think too much. They start creating problem, doing uneccessary things, create some stupid 'news' and they trouble everyone. I mean, people, can you just get back to your work? I know your life is boring, you need to spike your life up with some entertainment. BUT PLEASE! why must it by guessing what other people mean in their words and sentences? WHY? 
Okay, I know most of you are smart. Indeed smart, and i dont care if its street smart or book smart. I. DON'T. CARE! All it matter is DONT you ever come and interrupt my peaceful life. DONT you dare coming into my snow world and destroy my snowman and demolish my igloo. no, u're strictly NOT ALLOWED.
You see, you people are SO intelligent, that you think you can actually read other's mind. Well, you might guessed the right thing, but you'll never know how the person feel at that moment coz u're not them. Eventhough u been through all those shit, let me tell you, you're not going to feel the same as them. never. 
I know its FUN to guess coz its all about how good our imagination are, the proudness in us if we guessed it correctly that 'proves' how smart you are. but what imma say is STOP THE CHILDISH GUESSING GAME. it is immature and time wasting, so why not you people get back to your own work and stop bothering other people by having all these childish guessing game? FYI, it IS annoying. VERY annoying. 

WELL!!!!
class started today and i felt like dying already. 
i mean, who'll be such a joker, where they rub their eyes because the lab was too boring that you look around the slides when you're only a quater awake? well, i was that joker. 
my contact lens was stucked somewhere under my eyelids and im a half-blind woman running outta the lab towards the end when my fav lecturer is talking infront. i dont wanna do thattt but i just cant concentrate when im half blinded. and DAYUM! i thought it'll get back to its place but no. it fell off. -.- and there it goes... luckily i was smart enought to bring my glasses. :D and yeah. people see the nerdy boar ^( O(oo)O)^

when things doesnt go in your way,
you just hate it. we hate it. everybody hates it. 
when you realize things you wished that it will be the best, no longer going to be the best, the anger, the disappointment, the unwillingness to face the reality,  gushes up form your bones into your mind, you try to do everything you can to fix it. and after you wasted so much money on the phone calls, after the long hours of searching until the eyes are dry and pain, after so much energy wasted, you realize, there's nothing you can do about it but to face it. 
then reality forces you to face it. no matter how unwillingly you are, you have to face it. 

i hate it when im finish talking, no one replied. i mean, it is still okay if no one replied. but some people just give you those faces 

'so what?' 
'wtf u're wasting my time' 
'wth i dont wanna listen to your crap' 
'no you're such an idiot'

i.am.so.addicted.to.gangnam.style.right.now! :O
it is funny. 
i mean it is not the first time of me having an addiction 
the song stuck in my head for the whole day. perhaps it stays in the head for a few more days, even weeks. 

Eversince I entered IMU, i never dislike nor hate their staffs coz they haven't done anything that cross my line. 
But up to today, I'm feel a bit dislike the staffs. All these while the way they play with their fingers, wasting my time asking me to call to the different extensions whenever I seek for help, I complain to my friends, but i didnt dislike the staffs. Im just unsatifsied with their attitude. that's all. and the way they plan to cut down the orientation, i dont hate them, sometimes even, i find it reasonable. because we indeed ARE disturbing the residents of vista. I understand. 
I admit i exaggarate things all the time. But no, not this time. I'll just tell you what exactly happened. 
SO, about the venue booking, we did it a bazillion months ago (nah jk, it was only 3 months ago) then we finally went back to them for the venue confirmation. and this is what happened. we asked for chancellor, they said no, because there's a convo on the next day. then the day after i went and ask, what about audi. NO again, coz they're using audi as well. then i asked the other day. what if we end our event early and arrange the stuffs for them. then she said NO. its not a thing that we say arrange means arrange. and im like.. owh okay... o.O THEN, we asked for atrium. she said, its not booked should be ok. and finally, she said yes. 4 pairs of ears heard that.  and when we went and get the confirmation, she said NO. atrium is used to arrange those tables as well. 

the moment u see the smile on the majority's face. you know they aced it. 
and the dark cloud, the dark feeling, the fear, slowly seep into me. 
the thought of what if i cant go through this time? there's no one to blame but myself for being so slacked in the previous semester. now that the most important paper was done. the only thing now i can do is to hope for the best. 
i tried be optimistic. but no, that is actually a lie to myself. i know. no one could be more disappointed to myself than me. it wasnt that hard. but why the hell did i not trust my instinct? i really dont know what to do if i dont get through this. 

"i wonder, will i be able to get through this. "
I don't doubt. But I hope.
I'd really pray hard for myself all these time.
There's nothing much I can do now but to do my very best working it out and hope for the best.

i admit, sometimes im just being jealous of you. im jealous of your capablity.
how much i just wish im having capability like you.  
and i hate it when you stress up. because i think it's pointless.  
i'd really love to treat you good like how I did. but you're just being that cold. the cold laugh. it's clearly a perfunctory laugh which i really hate it, a lot.