♪♫ ~*Mi¢hεl£ε•τoo~*♪♫

sometimes, silence's the gold, preferably, with a smile. and that's what i always do. 

been having mood swings these days and its so temperamental. its like, being hyper in this min, and the next sec, not sure whether's the consequence of being hyper or what, i'm emo. its like a plane crash. being high up in the sky few min ago and nxt few min, crashed. and the funniest thing is, im back to normal in the nxt few min, and there again, when im alone or even some small, tiny lil thing happened, i get emo again. sigh. hormones *shakes head*

i wouldnt say i've been crying alot these days, in fact, i did cry. but not a lot. 

i need to release all these shit i have in me. and the only way, is through tears. shedding these tears, with full of negative feelings, feels great. ofcourse, i have a shortcut way of shedding these tears, watching some sad/touching movie. :P i mean, that's the fastest way to cry if u feel really horrible at the moment but there's no way to release it. To be frank, i tried crying using adele's song. but, idk whether the problem is that i listen to much to her songs or what, i somehow can't cry. the most would be tearing up, and it dried up. thats all. 

ANYWAYS, im kinda outta topic now. back to topic. :P 

these mood swings, people been asking me, what happened to me these days. and my only reaction to them is to give either my hiao-est laugh or my sweetest smile, without any words replied. its not that i dont wanna reply, but i really thing it's pointless to explain and its all small matter, i dont wanna exaggerate it to wow you people, and partly, im lazy to think how to rephrase my sentence in a proper way. u know i suck at it :/

kissin's playing's taking my breath away. 

to me, he's some weirdo in life, as in the way he talk, he act, etc. 
but all these doesn't really matter after listening to his playing. 

he's a great performer indeed.
one of the most gifted.  

perhaps u'll understand what i've been feeling after listening to all these songs. 

I NEED A BETTER BRAIN!

A BRAIN THAT CAN CONTROL MYSELF BETTER!

A BRAIN THAT DONT FORGET STUFFS EASILY!

D:

there are more time per day, so that i have more time to study and sleep longer.

exams aren't on end of feb, so that i can go see wongfu without any worries.

you remember me, you talk to me, so that i'll be motivated to study everyday. 

i have better brain, so that i remember whatever i read and waste so much time reading/doing the same old thing over and over again. 

we photo(s) together. we know each other. we chat with each other. 

im yours and you're mine. 

ah. 

it's not THAT long since i blogged here. it was only before i went overseas. 
it's not that i don't wanna blog, it's just that im so tired, never get sick of sleeping since i was back from HK&TW. and yea, im lazy to report out what i done there coz so many things happened. ANYWAYS, i had great time over there. :) 

and yeah, this is the 1st post of mine on 2012. 
i really think 2012 is a year to learn, much more, compared to past years.
i'll be more and more busy, i suppose? with all the exams coming up. starting of the year, mid year, mid-mid year, year end, year end-end... yeap. exam year.  

and new year resolution? only one. 

PASS ALL MY EXAMS WITH GRADES I WANT!

that's all. :)

quote xinyee “2012难，又老又stress” 
and i really hope the white hair dont pop out this year, at least.  

been out during the weekends. 
im literaly being outside more than at home.
i dont have much chance going out like this.
coz my mom's such a lazy bump that she'd rather stay at home and sleep during weekends :P
which is kinda boring to me.  

enjoyed my weekend very much since my aunt's here.
all the crap, food, shopping, etc.
naw, im missing her already...

this weekend somehow passed extrordinarily fast to me. 

owh btw,
shopping malls are all nicely decorated already!
heh, its SOO NAIS :)
i LOOOVVEE christmas decorations!
its so cute yet elegant!
don't u agree with that?

anyways, i cant wait for thurs fot the trip!
WOOTS!!!
Finally, im BACK!
for after.. .. ...

im running outta time! 
there's so much more to study. and i tend to forget wtv i studied. *lifetough*
and when i had plenty time, i wasted it. *inmyface* 
been sleeping at home these few days since classes are cancelled, will be replacing in jan tho :/
but still, no matter how much i sleep, the panda eye's still with me. 
PANDA EYE, Y U NO GET AWAY FRM ME???? *trollface* 

anyways, i cant wait for the coming trip! WOOTS! 
SO! must get my AIR done by this week D: 
DO REMIND ME ABT IT IF U HAPPEN TO SEE ME PROCRASTINATING! 

life's great these days. 
ain't as bad as it sounds before. 
i'd cherish the moments im having now.
the laughter, the nonsense i did with those awesome people around me.
i feel so proud having talented people around me. i really do feel proud. u know who you are, if u every see this :)

partly it was because i passed all my stations for my formative osce, but that ain't smth big deal, coz i know im not the only one. but ofcourse, that did made my day :) i did look up for this freaking formative, taking it so heavy, when everyone's telling me, aiyaaa, its only a FORMATIVE!!!! why so stress? why so kancheong? 

i know i told this to some people, but i feel that i need to say it here, again, i cant afford to fail anything, anymore. not even formative! u can call me kiasu or what, idc, but i'd die if i fail in any of my exams. no joke. i dont wanna come in and fail my exams when my parents paid so much for this. 

omg. its getting emo :P
back to my awesome life. 
went to sri petaling pasar malam with friends just now. it was, haha, fun. i somehow feel i'll feel fun even im doing the most boring on earth with friends. not to say pasar malam was boring, its more of us walking together, talking loudly like no one's business, eat, shop, talk, see, tease each other, bitch, lol wtv u can think of :P never expected a night market trip to be so fun. ( i know its abit weird to say it like this) :P

anyways, im freaking tired and my ass' aching now. :P will sleep and post smth here.. someday... which is, few days, or few weeks or few months later perhaps? 

NIGHTS PEEPS :))) 

i never understand why some people always admire people who knows how to play any musical instruments till this second. 
its either they DO NOT have the chance to learn it, or the GIVE UP easily. 

it's quite heart breaking whenever u hear someone saying, i lost interest in (something). 
like for me, i feel extremely happy whenever people telling me how much they admire certain musical instruments. for those who don't have the chance to learn it, i really feel sorry for them, coz i can totally feel for them. when i was younger, i always wanted to learn drum, but heh, my parents doesnt even allow. they said, girls play drum, not so appropriate, doesnt look good with the legs open so wide there -.-

then, i wanted to play the cello after learning violin, i mean, i still have the interest in violin, but cello just looks so cool to play it, its so sad, and haha, im a emo person, emo ppl plays emo instrument. LOL. then, because its so expensive, and i'd really got no space for a cello at home, so, this plan's place aside, TEMPORARY! i swear if i ever have the chance to even touch the cello, i'd be darn happy. seriously.

 i understand for those, who's got so fed up of practicing ur music instrument, but hey, its the learning process. i always feel this way, especially when the exam's around the corner. i believe most of the u feel the same way too. fyi, i almost gave up my piano back in std 6. UPSR's a really stupid excuse to stop. i mean, if u're interested, no matter what, u'll continue. the reason i didnt stop was because of my mom. which i really need to thank her for this. and u say lost interest and give up just because of practice? this excuse is so ridiculous. i'd say u're stupid! STUPID!

u have the oppurtunity to learn it, why not just finsih up the freaking course since u're half way through? for the sake of the freaking cert which is pretty useful for ur future,why not? just work hard for about 2 more years. and u'll be free from it, at least u're done with something. 

and for those who stopped few years back, and regret ALOT, i feel sorry for u. coz i would've feel how u feel now if i stopped music. coz i wouldn't have any entertainment when im bored, just to entertain myself, and i wouldn't be who i am today.

what im trying to say is, guys, please, think properly before quitting ANYTHING. don't freaking disapoint people around u. coz u might feel regret one day, and heh, makes u feel like a loser, like IN YOUR FACE! 

feel soooo good after practice. 
its been sometime since i practiced seriously.
i'd never been practicing like that since uni started.
it feel soooo good.
as if i just finished exercising :D
especially the moment when u play till u sweat,
and u realize, owh! i fixed that part!
the satisfaction,
eventhough its only a bit of the whole song,
will still be there :) 

i always think i dont have enough of that. especially when praticing, coz i cant stand the lactic acid accumulating. its so... sourish..?? TIRING!!!

and fyi, im a perfectionist, tho i dont look like one to most of u. 
i always hope for the best, wtv i do, i'll have high aims for it. but heh, everytime, especially when im almost there, i loose my patience and i gave up, then regret. D:  
lol. actually, people've asking me if i do cover and upload on youtube. and haha, sadly, the answer is, NO! its not that i DON'T want to do. it's just that, im never satisfy with those recordings. 

_____________________________________________________________ 

it was my bday on the monday,
thanks to ALLLLL OF U! who wished me!
no matter when :) 

and thanks u peeps for this wonderful cake!
u know who you are :)
 <3

never put high hopes on people coz they'll deceive you.

when you think everything's going great, you'll somehow feel something. it's weird. as if God's telling you, Hey babe, no, things doesn't work this way, don't put in so much hope, it's gonna be disappointing. and then, you'll see things that make you heartbreak. 

then you realize, ur intuition was right, disapppointments.

i don't like feeling these. you peeps always say, i look happy in real life, but i sounds so emo through the internet. imma tell u, no. u're wrong. i tend to not posting happy things thru blog because i'm usually busy with my stuffs when im happy/hyper, unless im really free to do so. 

i usually feel these crap when im alone in my room. thinking of people around me, feeling so lonely.

this place used to be a happy place. a place filled with my sampat-ness, showing how i enjoyed me life, people around me. not to say im not enjoying my life now. i DO enjoy my life. i always present myself as a hyper girl full of enthusiastic. 

but things are different when im alone, sitting down infront of my mackie in my room. it's not the lonliness in me, i never feel lonely unless something happen and hit me in my face. its the insecure in me. as day pass, i feel more insecure. im afraid. im afraid to lose everything in having now. for those of u who know me well, u should know, i never take people around me for granted, never. i always appreciate getting to meet you people in my life. i always care about your feelings. i'm always afraid of hurting u peeps and that's why i'll think alot of how to structure my sentence before telling u smth bad.

and studies. im slacking alot. i might look as if i studied alot, but sorry to tell, no, i don't study as much as u thought. distractions. i wont blame distractions but myself, coz im the one who dont have self discipline to get my things done. imagine, how the guilt is drowning me when other people are studying like mad, and im not. fb-ing tweeting and youtubing every single day and disturb them most of the time. and i feel freaking guilty every night before i sleep coz i studied nothing. NOTHING! 

i know myself well. im not that smart as u people think i am. im not. im just lucky at times.