♪♫ ~*Mi¢hεl£ε•τoo~*♪♫

"i wonder, will i be able to get through this. "

I don't doubt. But I hope.
I'd really pray hard for myself all these time.

There's nothing much I can do now but to do my very best working it out and hope for the best.

All of you who're reading this, 
no matter who you are, and where you are,
hope you'll be praying for me to get through this. 

This will cost you no money but a few seconds of praying full-heartedly. 

I know I sound selfish / too much.
I've got no more idea but to do this.

Those who helped me, thank you very much.
I really appreciate your effort. 

i admit, sometimes im just being jealous of you. im jealous of your capablity.
how much i just wish im having capability like you.  
and i hate it when you stress up. because i think it's pointless.  

i'd really love to treat you good like how I did. but you're just being that cold. the cold laugh. it's clearly a perfunctory laugh which i really hate it, a lot. 

it's probably the remaining days. i know. you're stressed up. but can you stop showing that kind of face like i owed you something important? 

you said you couldn't control it. but do u know it's really affecting other people's life by ruining their day? 

and it's not only you giving us that kind of face like we're wasting your precious time. u even showed by talking in such way. seriously, i dont know what are u thinking. but that is annoying to me. 

thankyouverymuch

Warning: This is a post bitching about some stranger replied my comment on youtube. For those who think its pointless to continue reading, you may proceed/continue anything you're to do.

Things started this way. For those who don't know, there's a show on the television called 'Astro Star Quest' and there's a contestant called Nicole, singing Adele's 'Set Fire to the Rain' 

and for those of you who don't know, IM A FREAKING HUGE FAN OF ADELE!!!!!! i listened to her album '21' for countless times. over and over again. 

AND!!!! This girl, Nicole, she sang my favourite singer's song! of course, we ALL know that singing Adele's song is like a hell of hard song to sing it decently if you dont have certain level of skills with you. 

Well, my thoughts of her performance for that episode was first, DAYUM MY EARS HURT!!! then, erm, it was okay, she's got her own style in this song. which was in a good way. probably the reason that made my ears hurt was her pronunciation. then i went and listen again, and then i heard something weird, and went back to that part and listen again, i heard 'alwis win alwis win' instead of 'always win always win' DAFUQ???!!!! and i thought, nevermind, i'll continue to listen the whole thing, and again, i heard something weird, the chorus, the typical malaysian chinese pronunciation of the word 'rain' as 'ran' and in this case, even worse, she didnt even pronounce the 'n' behind, instead, she sang something like 'raaehae' 

then again, few seconds later, right before she enter the repeat of the chorus, she pronounce 'name' as something sounded like 'nahen'..???

and lastly, she sang 'time' as 'tie'

and this is why i dont really like to listen most of the chinese singing english songs. 

they somehow just ruin the song. it's either they have all the funny pronunciations which they think its very cool, or they sing it in a very chinese way, or BOTH! 

so, i made a comment under that video asking the her to work out her pronunciation. and there's a stranger, he replied ot my comment and deleted several times. (maybe he's got no balls to post it up long enough for me to see)  

this is what he commented:

"do not forget that there are different accents in different places.
I am pretty sure that you have never talked to any american or white man before, nor listened to the original version by Adele."

i mean, HELLO SIR! if you've got the balls to reply my comment, WHY DONT YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO POST IT UP LONGER SO THAT I CAN REPLY YOU? AND!!!! your comments on my notificaitons. email and on youtube. -.- and don't you know that there's a type of human called 'the stalkers'?

btw, i was pissed the moment after i read your reply, but few seconds later, i think you're an idiot, for assuming me as the never heard Adele's song, never ever talked to a white man before. come on, i talk to whites at least once every year. how can i not know? i watch 'the voice' from both US and UK, how can i not know? i watch BGT & AGT, how can i not know? i probably listen more english songs than you do, i listen more youtube covers than you do. most of the songs u listened was from the Astro Star Quest, China & Taiwan processed songs, i wonder, do you even listen to covers? 

it is definitely the biggest flaw for YOU to assume i never heard Adele's version. -.- or never talked to ANY whites. 

if the 'you' im mentioning, ever come across this post, i'd say, you are pathetically funny by making such an assumption. singing an english song with at least a proper or decent pronunciation is nothing esle but a respect for the song. it applies to any songs in other languages.

 they're probably the sweetest couple i ever saw. 
not too geli like some of the couples.
they dont usually show the geli part of them in public :) 

we thought of surprising him this bday but plan failed max.
but nevermind, presents and cakes and the lunch with awesome people and jokes and laughters 

 as u can see the picture below,

look at the smiles, the laughs, 

you know it's another satisfying day :)

P/S: the pic was about someone's burger's vege stucked in his braces.
somemore the vege was quite big xD
and thats why he didnt smile in the previous photo the waitress took . 

and this is the reason why im so addicted to this musical by only watching once

he was the only person i use all these years to tune my piano. well, not only. i tried, i mean, my mom tried the other fella, once, we never ask others anymore. 

he tune my cheap wall piano since i was primary school. till today, it's been more than 10 years. see, time flies. 

and today, he came to tune my piano. becaue i was complaining the piano sounded horrilble with the off pitch. for those who have a piano at home, you should know how it sounds. for those who dont have and dont know how it sounds, i'll say it's really awful.

anyways, this guy, he is so humble. probably the most humble person i've seen in my life. the way he talk, so polite, like those sisters in csu when asking they are you to do some favour. the ''please''s and ''thank you''s each with face facing the floor bow. i dont know if it's real, but it looked so sincere. and i feel so touched to a certain point. 

he doesnt remember me however. but nah, i dont care :P 

he has been working so hard all these years and his business was getting bigger till he owns a music school with full of pianos. i didnt know that till few hours ago, when my mom told me he owns the music school where i go to practice the grand piano which the exam is using. 2 years ago, i didnt went upstairs, but it looked so messy with so many pianos downstairs, because he piano was in the hall-room downstairs. and 2 years later, when i went up, holyshit, the upstairs looks so beautiful like in yamaha but more classy. 

it was only few days ago, one of my friend (i forgot who) told me that her teacher says the piano tuners doesnt know how to play the piano. i immediately said no! my piano tuner knows how to play the piano! :P

because he was so passionate. he loves piano. and if i didnt remember wrongly, he doesnt know how to play the piano when i was still in primary school. he went to learn later i suppose.

and after the tuning was done, he asked if im grade 8 or diploma. and of course, you know my answer. then he said, yea, very good. but when you're used to a grand, u wont wanna play all these wallie anymore. true. the grands are better to play with. i always wanted a grand. but money and space... any piano player would LOVE to have a grand at home. don't you? 

then he continued, 'i play the piano too! :D but unlike you, mine are for fun!' with the passionate look. and right before he leave, he thanked, again with the japanese-style of sincere bow, and wished for my exam (which i really need) and again, with the sincere bow. the thing was, he even waited for the gate to fully close before he even head to his car. 

im not sure if that was the acting. but if it is, that was really good because that made my day. 

i dont write perfect english nor perfect chinese like other people here in IMU. but somehow, i still choose to write. 

im not sure if this is what making continue writing. 

you see, the thing is, my english sucked from the start, and now? not much improvement i'd say. if i dont make me myself to at least use the words i have in me, i know that clearly, the day that i speak typical-chinese-english is near. which is what i dont want it to happen. 

i need to at least use this to voice out what i am feeling at every moment i feel like writing! 
there are times where there are so much feelings in me and i wanna write, but there is just something in me, making me cant piece it together at those moments and when those moments are over, i dont feel like writing anymore. 

it was perhaps the incident made me this way back in form4. and i swear that was the worse thing ever happened. we were young. i wont say we were childish, well, at least i was, and i still am. she was my best friend. and i dont care how she turned around and bitched about me that time. i really dont care till now as long as i am the only person you btiched about, not my family. and they were so smart, they involve my family and all. i know, i was the most annoying person that time. i was arrogant, i was a total bitch (still am), most importantly, i was a faker. till then, they taught me this lessons. choose your close friend wisely. talk when you need to and stfu when u are required to. 

speaking of this incident, it just reminded how dramatic my high school life was when the moment i think it was boring. 
i'd done lots of things back stabbing was a must in my high school, everyone back stab each other. and after some time, they found out, then they're not friends anymore for a period, then 1 party feels their life is so boring without the other party, then they apologized, then they are friends again, good for a period, back stab starts again, and the cycle goes on and on and on. besides back stab, boycotting is also a MUST back in MY high school. just because one people dont like the other, then the whole class must avoid her, dont talk to her, bully her. well, we all know the fact that she's really annoying and irritating, we all love to bully her, we enjoyed so much, she never had a day with a true friend back in high school. 

anyways, i am off topic. there is just so much to talk about high school and i can never stop talking about it. and you know what, i hate my high school life, A LOT! too dramatic. too much politics. which is what i really hate. 

instead, CAL life was really hectic (not as now though), but it was so peaceful, i have awesome people around me. matured. :D

and whenever i blog i have to filter things i feel like saying sometimes, JUST IN CASE some people whom stamina aint got good enough to withstand the direct-ness of my fact. i hate it. it's just so not me. and in case if u dont know, im more of a direct person because im not good in languages, twisting and turning the words, using the 'synonyms' to replace some awful/inappropriate word i feel of the moment. 

sometimes, some people just cant leave you alone to do things you like, they roll you into the wave they created and roll you in the deep, make your life miserable. then, when you finally got out of it, people run away from you because u are soaking wet, looking horrible, and you smell like those stinky sand after you swim at the seaside of PD.

this world is plainly realistic.
and some people just cant accept the weakness of whom, they chosen as their friends.
too sellfish to do that. 

U know, I know, we ALL know, most of the people on this earth dont like complicated things. 

even in  studies, love, life, etc. 

is it a must for people to complicate things in their life? isnt your life complicated enough to figure your future out? why do people tend to complicate their things around them and make life so much more miserable? 

or is it the same theory as playing a hard music piece, showing off your techniques, what u're capable of, or solving a guinness record standard difficult math question to prove that u're smart, in life instead. 

or is it because of the hormonal change that affects the thinking and the 'mood swings' as people grow that causes them to think too much, complicate things up, and end up doing childish/stupid stuffs? 

the world full of rumours, though i havent heard any of mine, it's really complicated i'd say. i'll just be the one who's sitting out there, as if watching things happening in the crystal ball. it'll take me a huge step to get into that world, its too much. i'll drown by those words and saliva. 

或许我们在你们眼中很无谓，
或许我们在你们眼中除了陌生人，什么都不是，
要怪也只有怪我们错过了黄金时期，但我们都不想。

原来，我对你们，根本就不能抱着任何希望。就算是一丝，也不被允许的。
因为就算是一丝希望，失望还是有，心，还是纠着痛。
就像是被爱人遗忘。
或许这种感受你们不懂。 
又或许你们不在乎， 但我们都在乎。 我们真的，很在乎！
凡事都说出口，那，心，又是交来做什么？ 

对，我是任性，但那不是要你们纵容，而是要让你们看见我们的存在。
我们都是人，我们都有感情，不是你们说见就见，说散就散。
不是你们呼之则来，挥之则去。 我们， 都！不！是！ 

你们连最基本的，见个面，就算是面对面了，连个招呼都不打。

好好反省吧，人类。  

I dont know if you have this problem, because apparently, I have. 

sometimes, the same sentence, in my mind and after I say it out, it is like two whole meaning. Somehow, sometimes, I got too excited and the tone changes, i start to talk they way that my mind doesnt programme to deliever the message. HOWEVER! i tend to say it in a sacarstic/bad/evil/etc way, BUT MY MIND DOESNT EVEN MEAN IT! and to some people who dont know me that well or not that close to me, they'll hate the way I talk and they eventually hate me. :( yeah, one of you. 

I know, I can't please everyone in this world, neither I am so LoA, desperate to be the most likable person in the world, NO! I'm NOT! 
but to certain people, i do think that way :P 

anyways, I'm just curious if u are having the same problem as I do. hehe. 

signing off peeps. 

nights :)

Dear Uni folks, to those who think im PMS-ing/shit face-ing, my apologies. 
i really have no energy to smile to you awesome people like i usually do. My weekend were exhausting, it was interesting however. :P

the whole saturday was all about children, KIDS!
first was teaching, 4 hours was tiring enough. then it was outing straight after i finished work to S. Pyramid for shopping till late evening then dinner in SS17 (the food there was REALLY awesome).

the desserts especially, it was awesome! my favourite was this one below :3

im somehow a dessert crazy fan nowadays. 

btw, i was back home quite late night at saturday. 

THEN! when everyone's sleeping, im doing PBL at night, midnight :P

without getting any quality rest, im out again the next day, with quite a crappy health status. feeling so sick in the summit. but well, it's mother's day. celebrating mother's day in summit with my family. which is again, awesome despite the crappy health status. :)

and this is the reason why im so tired today, playing with my cousin's daughter 2 days straight. Playing with hyperactive kids are... tiring. really tiring. 

so yea, basically that's why im not in a mood to even smile & talk properly to some of you people. 

Sorry. 

P/S: Moocow's new blueberry flavour taste sooo good
belanja anyone? :3  

food 
is
awesome
:D  

raspberry macaron
the appearance totally bought me out 
it taste... not bad i'd say  

class starting on the coming monday. 
frankly speaking, i dont know if it's a good sign that i feel... nothing...
owh okay, maybe not nothing.
i cant wait to see the bunch of crazy people because i miss them so so so so so much
and the course, well, new system, i've totally got no idea how is it going to be.
heard people saying respi's a hard topic.
and it keeps me wondering :/

anyways, 
food, is what kept me moving all these while 

cheers folks